Battle : Mumbai Vs. Me

The other day I was chatting up with this friend of mine, usually discussing about my life in Mumbai. A repetitive piece of conversation these days. I had my answers ready. Very much like those call centre employees. But then I was asked, “Is your Life in Mumbai rocking?”. I took a pause. A long pause. Similar questions had been asked before. Like – “How’s life?”, “How are you liking Mumbai?” etc… etc… This was new to me.

“It’s not a life anymore. Its living.” I replied after a long tic-toc pause. To be very true I enjoy my every bit in Mumbai. Back of my mind I know I have to. Otherwise Mumbai will sucker punch me. In Ahmedabad or Bhopal, it’s a different roller coaster ride. I know this. I know that. I know what to eat. Where to eat. I know who to meet where and whenever. I lead my life in those two towns. Here, I am looking at what every person is doing. It gets terrible, when you have to eat your meal all alone.

There are songs from Metallica and Pearl Jam playing at back of my mind all the time. Also one song written by me; ‘Manzil’. I have embarked on this journey. With my friends, family and Love distributed between Bhopal and Ahmedabad. I am conscious about the sucker punch that Mumbai can pull out on me. The demon’s of traffic and the music of foot-thumps scare me sometimes. But I like different music all together. I’d also like to thank all my friends and my loved ones for enriching me with your priceless memories. I think about them all the time when I am down. Round 1 begins.

Last drop of mercy!!

Fear loathing in my veins,
This is end of my game.
Got only one desire,
burn in @&*$ing hell-fire.

MIND IT.

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

This blog is not for those who have not seen this movie, but well read along. Can you forget love? No! Don’t be fooling around here, if you think otherwise. You may fall in love again and again and again, but you never forget it. Last night I saw THE movie ‘Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind’, and one of the song in the movie goes ‘Change your heart, look around you. Change your heart, it will astound you.’ So many connotations of that line.

People change their heart to look at the world in a different manner. They adjust their heart to what delivers them the best. Be it with work, love interest, family or anything. The moment the heart frisks away to a different position you tend to look at the world in a completely different manner. Few switch back to the normalcy and for the rest they take a decision. That decision might hurt many people, but it guarantees a new world to the one choosing it. I respect those people a lot.

In the movie, which is a masterwork, from every aspect. Be it dialogues, cinematography, Art direction, graphics, location and above all casting. The movie will never give you what’s coming next, infact every frame has a story to tell. No one can erase love. It will be the biggest crime of all. Well, good that they actually can’t for now. The guarantee of comfort and space in a relationship is always at stake. The people in relationship are unique. I have been through that and as the days pass by the memory fades out. But no one can remove the spots.

One more good thing about this movie is "Travel". Travel, not in only physical sense but with your past and future too. the serene atmostphere on Montauq, deep sunshineful forests, the frozen lake and the one when they wake up next to the see in the bed (shown below). Aah!! Wonderful. I am so gonna travel the world.

There are uncountable neurons in our body, I am not a geek scientist, but for sure I know that they have a thing that recollects all the past info. The only way you can lose it all is in typical bollywood ishtyle where someone hits you in devanand style (wooden plank works wonder too) and you wake up in the bed guessing who your daddy? Wonderfully shown in the movie that even though someone invents something to erase your love-life memory and if things are not really through then it’ll come back.

Jim Carrey!! You’re genius. Whenever I have discussions about the kickass actors in Hollywood, his name never brushed my mind. Knowing that you’d be doing a movie right now to crack open the guts of people outta laughter. Though you’re master at that too. Kate Winslet, you’re wonderful too and very beautiful. Don’t ever work in commercial movies. It should be only Offbeat for you.

“How happy is the blameless Vestal's lot! / The world forgetting, by the world forgot / Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! / Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd.” this quote stated in the movie which was originally penned by Alexander Pope, summarises the movie in it.

Nothing’s real people, it’s all a chemistry to be followed, set by the humans from the past and present. Don’t believe in a set methodology. Be different. Many are. See colours everywhere. Die smiling. Live smiling. Love till you take that last breath. Live Long.

Spotless mind!! Mind it. It never exists.

Are you calling me yet?

All I could see far away is ice.
I am running and the words following behind.
The pain this night has shown me.
Is scaring death out of me.

Never will I be shaken again,
Never will I feel the rain.
The moment is left far behind,
Will look for it everynight.

I hear the ring,
Which falls onto my deaf ears.
I don’t know why am I suffering,
Every moment turns year.

Standing at the end of this world,
And I know I have only one way.
Are you calling me yet?

Are you calling me yet?

I yearn for you!!

Eehhhmmmm.. I yearn for sleep yaar.. a good eight hour sleep. I really can’t remember the day when I slept for more than eight hours.. I mean I don’t know.. none of the creative people that I know have regular sleeping hours.. is that making us more creative? Think twice all you creatives.

I mean I used to sleep at normal times and all before getting into the creative world.. but ever since I am in it.. the graphic imagination has just multiplied.. and my fellow creatives share the same feeling too.. I have become a lot more instinctive these days.. and have to kill the same many times.. ‘coz many can’t really handle the pace.

I think life’s turning into tri lane now.. Things I want to do.. Things that I need to do.. Things that I should do to make few people happy.. The sense of liberty is not coming out.. I can’t fly.. but I want to.. I can’t stay under water like fishes do.. but I want to.. given that I am not caught in a net and served to you guys..

Patagonia calls me.. it tells me to not to come alone.. come with pride.. come happy.. come with learnings.. come expecting to find Nirvana. Then giza.. vladivostok.. malmo.. Darwin.. and jeaunea call too.. wanna be a traveller..

See how does it change? I start with my yearning to sleep.. but end up tell more about my other desires.. he he.. Good
Damn.. this is heavy.. PERIOD

Present Ma'am!!

hmmm.. so only few people complained to me that I've not been writing blogs for a long time now. Sorry guys. But well then again there was some fuck-up done by our sarkar. I really don't wanna talk about that. I have lost faith in our democracy because of whatever decisions have been taken by our Sarkar, again. I hope we as the care-taker of this nation rise up and revolt against the faith-breaking steps taken. Andolan, E-Andolan, Petitions everything. OK so that would be the only gyaan sharing session of this blog.. Now I move onto some happy moments..

Finally this month, 13th day of the month, I packed my bag and headed out for Bhopal with My masi. Aah.. finally it's all happening.. I was waiting so long to go to Bhopal. There were few concerns though.. My mom does not like long hair .. not at all.. and the Hair-cut that I sport nowadays can prevent me from tasting some of the most delicious food cooked by a mother in the whole wide world.. On top of that i got heavy beard too. This was a genuine worry.

On the other side.. there are people who +ed my faith towards keeping the same hair-style.. the curls do irritate me sometimes.. but then I like it othertimes. This got me thinking. Holy Mother Bulb of 500 watts.. I got an Idea.. I thought that the thing that makes me look more ugly is the heavy beard that i sport.. so exactly 48 hours before i was supposed to Bhopal.. I got me shaved.. and hair trimmed too. 2 mm that is. So I had a peaceful sleep a day before i was to leave for Bhopal. Haaash.

Next day is the Happy day.. finish the work early.. buy all what you need for your mom.. sis.. bhai.. and Bhanja.. My sweetest bhanja.. wait i'll come back to you.. and then get the luggage.. rickshaw.. vroom to the station.. coolie 50 rupaiye.. 45 stairs up.. 45 stairs down.. shove the baggage under the seat.. and Yippee here we go..

This was the first time I was travelling in an A.C. coach. everybody in my family prefers Sleeper class. It's affordable too.. and you get to meet lovely people. And one other thing which I hated about the AC class is that when people make noise.. the decibel is too much to listen to. and even the screws and something squeaking in the train makes it worse.. I couldn't sleep until 2 in the night. Damn.. well now it was rise and sunshine we'll be in Bhopal in about 20 mins.. But I had to see the institution of carnage.

When you are about to enter Bhopal.. the train stops for about 5-10 mins before the station.. and when the platform is vacate you move on.. but the place where this train stops is just a stone throw-away distance from the Union Carbide factory. The place which caused the biggest industrial disaster of the world. The sight was really terrifying.. those steel tubes swirling around here and there.. the big pot.. all the machinery.. rusted machinery to be precise. and the more terrible thing was the sight of people living right besides it. I was standing at the door.. few kids walked up with makai.. cigarettes.. water pouch.. and questions? One of them was rather embarrassing but well I’ll tell you what it was?

This kid.. about 9-10 year old.. who was trying to sell me makai comes to me. I thought he'd try selling me the Makai. but rahter he asked me,' Kya aap hero ho?'. Blush Blush and blush. he he.. i laughed at it.. and said no I am a writer and then we got speaking for few mins before the train was about to leave. I asked him. 'Why do u guys still live in the same locality?'.. pat came the reply, “This is the only place we get to earn decently, around 24-26 trains stop here daily and we make a decent amount of money." All this coming from a 10 year older made me think twice. Perhaps the only solution will be clearing up the ground water.. or Land replacement which happened in the Love Canal Disaster.

The train started to moving and from somewhere a leaf from the tree near by came and landed on my shoulder. Now that ij very bollywoody, but it happened for real.

We arrive at the station and were greeted by Jiju and Mummy.. aaw she's the most beautiful woman I know. Her smile.. so infectious. Love you Mom. On the way to home Jiju told me.. rather asked for my confirmation 'tum Lakshya ke liye 5 movies to laye ho na.. usko sirf paanch ki ginti hi aati hai, so he won't miss.' he he.. I told him 'Yes I got all the 5 movies and + something extra..' and we moved onto out place.

Mom had shifted to this new apartment about couple of months back. I had never seen it. I liked my old place very much so I really thought that this place would suck big time. But no Mr. Deepesh.. this is such a good big house. 4 rooms.. spacious lawns.. 24 hour water facility. Now tis was something big.. all 24 hours!! Girls in Bhopal get easily married once they come to know if there's a 24 hour water connection.. such is the problem of Bhopal and this is how much it means. People pray for 24 hour water connection and we finally managed to get a house like that. Damn sweet.

My brother got a jeep few months back.. it's a jeep which resembles the jeep from the early 80 movies.. Blue in colour with Black hood. perrfect. Mom made some delicious food and I was on my way to meet my Bhanja.. I am sooooooo happy. Took along all the moves and etc. gifts. Entered his home.. and there was my Barbie.. ehmmm.. there was my Krish (he likes him a lot) sitting on the bed watching some cartoon. He smiled.. blushed.. bhaav kha raha tha batook.. and then he ran to me and hugged.. aah.. the coolest hug ever.. He didn't kiss me... or said anything.. but 'Mama.. aap emre liye movie laye ho Paanch.' I gave him the polythene bag he counted five movies and he was satisfied..

Then we saw Ramayana and 'The Cars' at one go.. Guys watch out for 'The Cars' one helluva movie. The folks at Pixar did it again. After the movies got finished I brought Lakshya back to my home. We did lots of masti.. he told me about his fairy tales. asked me for few.. Yeah few fairy tales did took place in past couple of months.. so I told him everything. He told me who beats him up in the class.. I gave him some tips about how to handle that.. then I took him out for a drive in Jeep. It was sheer heaven. we played Chor police in the Jeep. every laymen for us was a Chor. We decided that I'll take shots at Chor who looked like people and He chose the more fun category of Chors.. the goats.. dogs.. and all the animals.. he he. Funny like hell it was. I also made him mimic like dharam paaji 'Abey Oye, mein tujhe chun chun ke marronga.' Well the way he said it was funny. 'Abey aey, mein tude chun chu ke maaloonga.'

Post Aftermath we returned home and my Bro was back from the site. Met him.. hugged him and quickly calculated the kg's of weight that he's put on.. he he. We had lunch and everything. and What followed soon was the fear that i had almost forgotten after meeting my bhanja and all. IT WAS ABOUT MY HAIR. My brother had the first shot at it. Then my Mom.. my sister.. lakshya was watching cartoon.. it didn't bother him. I am still the same person I was six months back.. and then Out-of-the-blue My masi had a go at it too.. Masi I have been living with you for past 4 months and you never uttered a word and when everyone's saying things about my hair you've jumped into the bandwagon too.. not fair. Sister came back from college and wow soon after hugging me she joined the OTHERS as well. No one was by my side. Anyways, it kinda gave me a thrill to defy all odds and be whoever you are. I don't get to do that a lot in my office.. so sorry guys I am gonna keep my hair like this. whether you like it or not. Muhahahaha

Finally, after showing them all what we had got from Ahmedabad they started to shut out one by one.. Next time I’ll come with more gifts.. which will be pretty soon. Caloohah Caleh... I had the fun of my life... I will be making a separate Blog about the incidents and all what happened in few days.. Hope time permits.. then will be discussing a hell lot more over there.. Know this is a long blog.. and there are few more HAIR-raising stories.. but I shall keep that for later.. Do share your comment.. It helps me to write more..

That was a nice header!!

If only I was a lipreader. Why, god why? Why did he had to head him down? Ah, well lets make it a story kinds and we go FlashBack.

Lazy Sunday. Slept around 6 in the morning. Got up pretty late too. Thought I would spend the day at home with Masi and this time did so, successfully. Chatted up with nice people.. Badaboom-badabaam, time passed and I vroomed out to Omar’s house for the screening of THE MATCH.

On the way, listening to cool radio music on my new RadioMoto (Had to let the world know that I got a new mobile phone), even for once himmesh reshammiya was not horrible, ‘coz he was singing to my RadioMoto. Ehhmmm this does not mean that I like the Nosereptosauras Always Cap+Jacket wearer.

Anyways, I kinda reached late to Omars place.. guess around 11:39.. damn missed the penalty.. anyways.. it always seemed that the Pizza-Inventors will have better of France.. and so it was 1-1 @ after 19 mins in the match. The way Totti played yesterday.. I was least aware of his presence in the stadia. Gattuso, Damn he’s a bull.. but Henry got better of him in this match. Thuram.. I think he’ll leave his name in the Football Language and the synonym of Wall. Or even the Queen will approve his name for the dictionary which would certainly mean Thuram – Scoring past him! Are you kidding?

This little fella Ribery was playing so well, no wonder Manchester united are begging him to come to the Trafford. Zizou was almost upto his potential and missed couple of chances. But well, now we get to the reason behind me writing this Blog. Why did Zidane had to head Matterazi down? Come on this is your last International match and you had to leave your mark in this fashion.

I heard that this time in the world cup whenever a team wins.. more people had sex.. I mean people who belonged to the nation which won the match. Not sure about Saudi Arabia, Tunisia or Iran. Hell they did not even win a match.. but damn.. now I wonder what people in france must be doing? And well we can guess what people in Italy must be doing? But brrrrmmmm.. lets not get away from the topic.

One fine European friend just told me that it could be a very racist comment.. Zidane is a Non-Islam Practicing Algerian in France. Could Materazzi really curse Allah or say something about him that made Zidane pissed off.. What else can be the reason… I think there was something really unacceptable.. what ever materazzi said... Guys all of you who did see this match.. Please post your personal explanation. TC.

Emotional Sojourn!!

Well most of who know me would kinda agree that I come with bundles of energy intact in me. Now but then again, I am only a human being. Thursday was the day. The day started as usual. Woke up late. Office late. Funny man at the traffic signal. Stop @ bonny’s @ IIM. A friend came. Usual tit-tat at chai ki ketli and then we pushed of for work.

Well, my office is sometimes more like a cybercafe then a work place. I mean I am working in a place where business is completely based on generation of Ideas. Finally I could sit on a nice workstation and dump my phellow colleague with my workstation for a temporary period. Aah! You guys should come to my office once.. so you can let your imagination run.

Anyways, we(me + my colleague Dipen) are savoring each and every moment of this One-More laborless day and walks in the Senior Copywriter. He inquires if we are working on anything? Yes we are working on major clients in our life like Orkut, Yahoo messenger, Windows Media Player, Hotmail and Nothing. We said ‘Aise kuch zyada kaam to nahin hai’. Then he called us and briefed us upon new client and shared his ideas. Tic-toc, Tic-toc, Tic-toc, Tic-toc, Tic-toc by evening time we are taken out of the campaign. Well, no regrets. But something didn’t sound right. I mean we were certainly replaced by a good and deserving friend, but then why do you create a situation where people have to listen to one of the second most smallest word ‘NO’.

Anyways, whatever happened happened. Also one of the major fuckthing happened on this day. It was Appraisal time for my colleague Dipen. Very docile fellow, but comes with creativity abundant and respects creativity a lot. He surely deserved a nice appraisal, but everything sounded pretty negative. Damn, god knows what I am? I certainly have to live in a surrounding where people are happy and they make other people happy.. but yeah yeah I know.. there’s always someone on the top who’s never happy and he keeps care that others down below him share his emotions.

Badaboom-badabang.. the day ended and there was a tide of sadness roaring inside me. I was driving back on Africa(That’s my bikes name. Black Pulsar.) and well it seemed that she knew that I am not upto my zest. So she didn’t ask to be driven fast either. Good Girl! On my way, there was a man who asked me for a lift. I didn’t stop. Africa got curious. Usually I would give a lift to any living thing. But no… go knows what happened.. 200mtrs away I thought of returning.. but what would I say.. or rather how would I react.. this was not my day.. well I thought I’d go home watch a movie and will forget about everything. But no, this didn’t happen.

It’s actually a turning point of my life. Whatever things come in my way have to go through a process which involves (Instinct test, future bond test, money gain test, good test, bad test, and many XYZ tests).. grrrrrr… but well someone who has read a hell lot of books.. who thinks a lot.. who loves to sing.. who loves to dance.. well someone like LIFE told me It’s OK! And well then I thought maybe we keep forgetting the key words in our life. But It’s OK. That’s how we learn and that’s what makes us live.

Well, it’s a great satisfaction. Sharing things with people in this e-world and you get to meet few good of them. Take Care guys. Smile. And Comment. Then smile again.